The 70/30 Ratio for Fulfilling Conversations

Image visualising 70/30 ratio of listening to speaking

No. The 70/30 ratio isn’t some investing advice given by your finance bro down the street. While it is admittedly also the best fat to lean meat ratio for burger patties, the 70/30 ratio is a technique to ensure that our conversations are productive, fulfilling, and informative.

The principle is simple: making 70% of our dialogue questions or clarifying statements and making 30% of our dialogue announcements or declarative statements. During conversations, particularly with friends or family, it’s easy to vent, dump your emotions through speech, or bulldoze over others to give your unique take.

However, when we’re having sensitive conversations around polarizing issues, maintaining this 70/30 ratio can be something to consciously keep in mind. It’s grounded in scientific findings.

In a study published by Harvard Business School, they found that asking questions increases likeability. They ran studies where participants would engage in face to face and online conversations, where they found that people who asked more follow-up questions were rated as more likable and “responsive.” (Huang et al., 2017)

(Clark & Brennan, 1991) also suggests that “grounding” is a fundamental part of any conversation, assuring mutual understanding and success in a verbal exchange. “Grounding” involves asking clarifying questions to ensure that all parties to conversations are aware of the precise subject matter.

The conversational benefits of asking engaging and interactive questions are undeniable. When discussions get heated over controversial issues, however, it can be difficult to bear that in mind. That’s where the 70/30 ratio is useful, consciously practicing active engagement with other’s claims while still expressing one’s own perspectives.

Obviously, if everyone in a conversation really asked 7 questions for every 3 statements like a pre-programmed LLM, productive conversations won’t flow. But having the 70/30 ratio in mind will probably get you closer to a 50/50 ratio. You’ll be able to restrain yourself from cutting in when others are making their point and engage civilly in heated conversations.

Aside from the likeability in conversations enabled by the 70/30 rule, there are other practical benefits. For conversations where the aim is to engage genuinely, to gain an understanding for the other side in good faith, a 70/30 ratio is also ideal. It allows people to ask questions that challenge other’s assumptions. It allows questions on the logical process of the conclusions that others hold. It allows us to confirm what exactly is causing the split on two sides of a debate.

A 70/30 ratio is easy to put into practice and serves as a guideline to productive convo. Consider applying it to your heated discussions!

Sources:

Image credit: Perfect Search Media – “The 70/30 Principle: A Sales Game-Changer” (Ben’s Listening Post).